To the girl struggling in her singleness:
Most of my life during the times I was single I thought it was embarrassing or that there was something wrong with me. For a long time I wasn’t fully able to comprehend the fact that times of singleness are some of the most pivotal and fruitful times in my life. Instead of trying to find my identity in Christ, I tried to find it in the world.
After an almost 2 year relationship ended, I struggled with a desire to get attention from guys instead of honing in to God and growing with God. Obviously that didn’t work. It took a few dates with guys who were not equally yoked to realize I was looking for attention and love in the wrong place. Through this God has reminded me that the love he has for us is the truest love we will ever have. 1 John 4:8-10 says “whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.” The truest, purest love comes from Jesus Christ. A love that is consistent and never-ending. There is truly no earthly relationship that compares to the relationship we can have with the creator of the universe. The love from our parents, friends, or even significant other will not sustain us the way God’s love does.
Singleness is often used with a negative connotation, but in this season of my life, God has shown up the most and in ways I never expected. One thing singleness gives people is freedom. The freedom to say yes to things they may not have said yes to if they were in a relationship. As followers of Christ, we are called to love for what outlasts us. This is the Kingdom of God. In Matthew 28:18-20 Jesus gives His disciples The Great Commission. He said to them “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” The purpose of our lives is to spread the Gospel and make disciples. The same words Jesus said to His disciples applies to our lives. You may be thinking “well I can still make disciples while in a relationship” and this is so true! But I want everyone to realize that being single is a blessing from God. A time where you can lean into him and not have as many distractions. Our time is precious and there is no better way to spend our waiting season than sharing the love of Christ with others.
What you are about to read is probably the toughest point to wrestle with. I know it was for me and still is. This point is that we must learn to be content with the fact that we may never be married. When God put this on my heart I was filled with anxiety. I have always wanted a deep, true love that glorified God. But as I thought and prayed about this, I realized that God was trying to remind me of the greatest commandment that He gives every single believer. It comes from Matthew 22:37 when an expert of the law asks Jesus what the greatest commandment of the law is. Jesus replies with “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” God wants all of us. How amazing that the creator of the universe wants to be over every part of our life, yet still gives us the free will and ability to choose to give it to Him. He wants every single fiber of our being. And He deserves all of us. All of our praise, adoration and attention.
Dating and marriage are amazing things and God delights in them when they glorify Him and His Kingdom. But, when we idolize the idea of dating and marriage, we lose sight of the greatest love we will ever be given. If you are single and looking for answers the best thing you can do is be in the Word consistently, pray consistently and ask God how He wants to use you. Do not forget to enjoy the time God has given you in your singleness and use the time to become the person God is calling you to be!
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