To the freshman in college who isn't having a picture "picture perfect" freshman year:
People say college is supposed to be the best four years of our lives. Let me tell you a little bit about my story....my freshman year was NOT one of the best years of my life, NOT EVEN CLOSE. I went to a university in Tennessee to play softball my freshman year. I had just turned 18 and I was in a brand new state where I didn't know a single soul. I was exposed to the "college scene" and little Mallori did not know what to do. I was out of my comfort zone and out of place to say the least. All of my high school friends went to big schools, joined sororities, and seemed to be living the best year of their lives. And me? I was miserable and I hated where I was at. Sound like any of you? I pray not, but I know that that is so many of our stories! Let me tell you a few short truths if this is your story right now....
IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE THINKS!
If the Lord is telling you to transfer and you don't have peace where your at, TRANSFER! I know for me I was terrified of what people would think. I had worked my entire life towards playing collegiate softball and from the outside looking in I was living the dream. But the reality was I had no peace where I was at, I knew the Lord was calling me to transfer and to quit softball, but I was scared. Scared of people's disapproval. BUT GOD! He gave me the strength to leave. He gave me the strength to not care about the approval of others. Let me tell you, people talked, people didn't understand, people thought I was throwing my dreams away, but The Lord gave me supernatural peace only he could have provided. People are always going to judge, but Jesus' approval is the only one that matters. Walk in obedience, and run after Jesus, he will put you right where you need to be.
YOU WILL FIND YOUR PEOPLE!
My freshman year I looked at everyone else making their 'forever friends', and I was jealous to say the least. To set the scene, I went to college in 2020, so the only students on campus were athletes and all of my classes were online. I had my team, and that was it. To say I was lonely would be an understatement. I longed to find my people, find a community who loved me and loved Jesus. I prayed continuously for this. Let me tell you, the Lord provided! Not in my timing but, in his! Psalms 37:4 says, "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." The Lord knew my desire for community, he just needed me to take a step of obedience. As soon as I obeyed and transferred, the Lord blessed me with the best community! He gave me an amazing church family, sorority, and the best friends I could have ever hoped for. The Lord does not withhold good from us, sometimes he just wants us to take a step of faith.
TRANSFERRING WAS MY STORY, BUT THAT MIGHT NOT BE YOURS! IT'S OKAY TO STAY!
Maybe you didn't have a great first semester or first year, but you know in your heart that you're where the Lord wants you. That's hard, and first I want to say I'm sorry that you haven't had the freshman year you always dreamed of but, I also want to encourage you to not give up. Like I said before, the Lord knows the desires of our hearts and he does not withhold good from his children. Continue to be faithful, continue to be prayerful, and get out of your comfort zone as much as possible. You can pray for relationships and community but, friends aren't going to walk into your dorm room on a random Tuesday. Join a club! Get involved with your local church, serve! Invite a girl to coffee! GET OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE! Some of my most cherished friendships would have never happened if I didn't step out of my comfort zone.
LIFE CONTINUES TO GET BETTER!
So many people say, "these are the best years of your life!" Personally, I hope that isn't true. I don't want to peak in college haha! These years are precious and we should cherish them, but we have so much to look forward to in this life. You are going to move away from your college town, make so many friends, celebrate weddings and birthdays, get married, have babies, have a career! You have so much to look forward to!
ALONE TIME IS A GIFT!
I also want to encourage you to take advantage of your alone time. I know not having tons of friends can feel isolating and lonely, but it can also teach us a lot. I think we have a perfect picture of someone using solitude and alone time in the bible: Jesus! Jesus had a strong community during his ministry, but he would often go away in solitude to pray and be with his father. Luke 5:16 says, "But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed." He CHOSE to be in lonely places. Maybe Jesus wants you to withdraw so you can be with him. During this season of loneliness lean into Jesus. He is the best friend we could ever hope or dream for.
However you decide to move forward in your college career, keep your eyes on Jesus! Life gets better friend, I promise! I've been there and I made it to the other side.
xx Mallori
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